Here’s Why Dating Does Not Equate To A Relationship

By Keara Steele - October 12, 2019

                    Let’s start by making it clear that no matter the circumstances, you can not and do not possess other human beings. Clear? Okay, we can proceed. It’s been brought to my attention that most do not understand that there is a clear separation between the acts of dating and the establishment of a relationship. Though, two beings in whatever kind of relation to each other is in fact a relationship, we are talking about romance here. So, just because someone agreed to a night out on the town or a Netflix and chill session does not mean that you two are suddenly “going steady.” Welcome to my TED Talk. 

Lunch @ The Lookout

For clarification, there is no commitment involved in dating. Did that statement shock you? I genuinely hope not. Dating should be broad and include variety. Dating is not meant to be a monotonous task. Nor a task of monogamy. You should date however many people you desire. You should never feel like you’re limited to that one person you’ve been going to karaoke with every Wednesday night. Or that one person that likes to take you bowling on Fridays because there’s half priced drinks and appetizers after 7. When you are dating you are not obliged to any one particular person. You should never feel bad about dating someone else while still wanting to hang out at the lounges with “so and so” when Saturday rolls around. When dating, you are still single. Single as a pringle. Single and still mingling. How ever you want to put it, you don’t have to and shouldn’t be answering to anyone.

Is it easier for you to grasp if we speak about dating and relationships in stages? Well, dating should be the stage where you figure each other out. Yes, getting to know people is still a thing. How else are you supposed to know that Sarah has been cutting all her doll heads off since the age of six and keeps them in a safe-locked box underneath her bed? Or that John has been printing off all your Instagram photos and creating a mural of you in his closet. Typically, these are worst case scenarios and you probably won’t figure this out on your first date, but the dating process can help you decipher clues that may help you steer clear of these kinds of people. You should never jump into anything with anyone without experiencing them in a public space. Because, well, it’s just not safe to do otherwise.

I feel like I’ve basically said this, and it should honestly go without saying, but for those that need me to say it again, there should be no expectations of someone you’re just dating. I cannot stress this enough; a date is just a date. Nothing more, nothing less. You shouldn’t even assume that just because the first date was successful that there’ll be another one. You should always have an understanding that the person you are dating is always allowed to change their mind about you at any time, and vice versa. No one is obligated to call you back. No one is obligated to text you back. And although it may hurt, no one is obligated to even show up to the date at all. Ouch. It’s the truth though. You can’t expect anything from anyone you don’t already have a pre-established commitment with. Long story short, dating is just that, not a relationship. 

That concludes my TED Talk.

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- xoxo, Keara.

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